My YouTube recommendations are all about side hustles, so after the debacle of my consulting services to a mask maker, I have now joined hands in the festive spirit of the season with a quote making startup remotely. But funding winter has set in, things aren’t going too well, so I have taken up the mantle of sales myself…

A festival special issue of Daak, because why not?

Wishing you very Happy Diwali!

Dear Lizzie, may I call you Lizzie? Let’s settle for Liz.

For a limited time between today and the next Sunday, we are offering you a package 30 AI powered inauthentic quotes for the price of 29! Thousands of our customers are already spreading beautiful fake quotes to support their wild conspiracies and ensuring a constant turmoil in their community.

What better way to promote peace Lilz, than some old fashioned unrest? Supply and demand, it is the economics of life!

Now having known you but barely this might seem incredible, but I know what’s going through your mind - ‘what am I going to do with all these quotes?’ Am I right?

ABQ Liliset! Always be Quoting.

Look around you, Jillie Lillie, ever seen a great man or woman without a quote to their name?

Crazy quotes are the best accessory you can own. They make you look smarter and well read without needing to be either. They are the best way to straw-man any argument, which you know is the only way to win one. Quotes make you a worldly soul from the comforts of your couch. What’s life without some random inspiration from a random person who doesn’t know you? But you know what’s better? Crazy fake quotes. With them you get an unlimited supply for your every quotational needs, and without worrying about like laws and liabilities and consequences!

Besides their low cost and long lifespan, our quotes are very versatile. Quotes are the ultimate weapons for the passive aggressive person. Lean in to your fakenticity. Want to tell people of your awesome life but appear humble, grab our special quotes of fake gratitude!

As the poet Gaya Brangelou once shared — “I've learned that people will forget what you said.”

Lizmelon, let me tell you, it’s the season of festive spirits once again, and when it comes to gifts, you can never be sure of who you’re sending it to. Which is why you can have custom quotes to meet all the political leanings of all your connections. Please hit me up for a bulk discount on our right or left, never be bereft political quotes package.

Trust me Jills, nothing sells more on the web than poorly researched, misattributed quotations. A quote, like a kombucha, speaks to a person’s gut. And why use real quotes that require deep contemplation and coming to terms with ones deficiencies and biases when you have the convenience of a fake quote to speak your indolent mind out?

I hope you can’t wait by now to grab your set of faquays. (I coined it, you can quote me on that). Let me also add that the first 100 customers will get exclusive fake merchandise and a free pass to the next Fake Quote Con happening somewhere.

And on that note, let me leave you on this fine day with a quote that my mother loves to share - “buy what my son says.”

Seasons greetings to you and your fam LizzieQuizzie. I have taken the liberty to make a free quote for you (attached below with special thanks to our senior quotist Qathy, I think the colors pop, don’t you?), just so you get a feel of what it is like to have a quote of one’s own!

Yours Truly,

(On behalf of Bombay Dank Quote Co.)

Bombay Daak

056 - Fake Quotes, Never Used, Festive Sale